They walk among us!!

[tennhound]

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution... They Walk Among Us ====================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They Walk Among Us! ====================

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . They Walk Among Us!
====================

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . They Walk Among Us! ====================

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... They Walk Among Us! ====================

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... They Walk Among Us! ====================

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned... They Walk Among Us! ====================

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"... They Walk Among Us! ====================

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. Yep, They Walk Among Us, too. ====================

They walk among us, AND reproduce!

[Robdog]

Definitely good cases for retrospective abortion!

[Lisa D]

there's a few candidates there for the "here's your sign" ....

course, you gotta know bill engvall for that reference :)

[mcloughlin2]

Love this one,


Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution... They Walk Among Us ====================

Its too true ... :evil:

[bushie]

having worked as a tour guide in kakadu national park for ten years,
I have heard some absolute crackers.
so just a couple for you.

after explaining our itinery for the day, said tourist asks,
"what time is the nine o`clock boat cruise?".

after explaining about aboriginal art throughout kakadu national park and that a lot of them are undiscovered,said tourist asks,
"so how many undiscovered art sites are there in the park?"

being a camping tour, I had to cook for the crew every night and would get the group to help with preperation.
one night I asked a young fella to open some cans for me.
he stated that he didn`t know how to cook and that he would do all the dishes etc but please just don`t make him cook.
I told him that he didn`t have to cook anything and that I just needed him to open some cans, so I gave him the tins and can opener and off he went.

ten minutes later, I`m looking for the cans and find said tourist behind a tree crying. asking what was wrong he said that he was at uni and his mum bought dinner to him everyday so he had never had to cook and therefore didn`t know how to open a can.
he was twenty six years old

[Robdog]

I worked as a lifty in Whistler Canada and we had some good ones too.

After waiting in a huge lift line a woman asked me "Wouldn't it be quicker to make both sides of the chairlift go up?"

Another guy asked me very seriously if he had to change the time on his watch when he got to the top of the mountain.