True Story (bit long, but funny!!)

[marg]

This is a true story from the "WordPerfect Helpline" which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired. However, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of the former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations).

"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away"

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes. Can you see it."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"


"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."


"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too f****** stupid to own a computer"

[SirClutzz]

Love it, read that one before.

Being in the IT industry myself, I've had some interesting stories similar to these.

Yes people, computer users like this do exist, and they seem to be growing in numbers.... So next time you state that your no good at computers, think about this story and say to yourself, "Hey, at least I know how to use Discus Forums, what else really matters..." :lol:

[Waldo]

Yeah I work in the airline biz. We have kiosks for people the check themselves in. We have quotas so we encourage people to use them. Simple touch screens with 2 or 3 yes or no questions. Old people are hilarious.

Says touch screen in big letter~

What do I do"

Start by touching the screen"

Says insert credit card or type conf code~

What now"

Do you have a card with a magnetic strip on it"

What for I already paid for it"

It reads your name and matches it with your reservation"

It's paid for"

It's ok... it just uses your name"

It wasn't my card"

Did you steal someone elses wallet on the way up here?"

Ok plug in a card with a magnetic strip"

I don't have a card"

Ok can I see your ID"

Opens wallet and 18 cards fall out~

hey you ID has a magnetic strip on the back lets use that"

First question~ Would you like to upgrade to first class"

They hit YES~

It's charging me"

yeah it will do that when you say you want to upgrade to first class"

I don't want to"

ok hit back then no"

Hit's restart~

Ok How about I just check you in."

Don't you want me to use this machine?"

Quite frankly I don't want you breathing my air let alone touching a machine...~

These are the people that get lost in an airport. No offense but I made it to Lima Pru at 21 never having flown before with a single 40lb suitcase for two weeks what are these peoples excuses?

[SirClutzz]

And they let these people breed... :lol:

[dcarmau]

My very own Tech Call!

A friend of mine bought a new laptop,
She got it home, took it out of the box and opened it... well...

"Hello?"
"Hi! I've just bought this laptop and it won't open..."
*I roll my eyes*
"What have you bought?"
"It's a new * laptop,"
"I see, have you got it plugged in?"
"They said it had a full battery, so not yet."
"Alrighty then! describe the front of the laptop to me"
"Well, there's 2 silver tabs going down the front, and a whole bunch of plug holes"
"plug holes? you sure?"
"They're definitely plug holes."
"hmmm"
"I was so frustrated, I even tried using a steak knife to open the thing and it wouldn't open!"
*I burst out laughing*
"Honey, turn the laptop around and open it from the front, there's a big button in the middle that you push"
"Oh! Thankyou so much!"